Wagwan, Ah. Where are you going? Lacunae cannot be concealed: and this is Yoofspeak UK.
It's the Speech of Schama, but un-aged. (I am most
certainly not intending, in any wise, any mockery of Prof. Schama, whom I
imagine I might quite like but, with whom one can not speak; nor am I
intentionally drawing parallels between Schama and Smeagol, though I am pointing
out that the latter Sold His Soul for the Sake of Sauron, rather than, to pluck
something out of thin air, the TeleCorp Foundation and citing this fict to clarify the contrast between that engagingly gesticulatory yet aged Professor and the gangrel
creation of the ghoulish mind of the Late Professor Tolkien (Senior, erstwhile Of
that Ilk).
No, I hold Prof. Schama in the greatest esteem, especially since he
began to appear on panel shows. I find his erudition contributes
much-kneaded meat to whatever burger one is being fed, though I would not like
to be sitting next to him as he exposits. You see, my direct
experience of young people is non-existent if they're aged 13 < Age < 19, so I have been ignorant of this odd new variation on the odd old variations we
once would have used back in the Ancient Warmth of Youth. I hear rumors
that this new "Code of the Young" is modified somewhat toward the gesticulatory,
doubtless by constant exposure to Prof. Schama and by the
antipodean filming of Sirtis's portrayal of Prof. Tolkien's Creature, Gollum, taking precedence over reading the book on
Kindle.
(Kindle is a sadly inappropriate name for a replacement for books, whatever they
are, but in that old movie, "Far . . ," um, "Fare Well...," um, "The Day After Tomorrow?" burning them brings warmth.)
This novel vernacular is akin to sign-languages, occult pass-words,
and sema-phor in that regard. Presumably this bimodality would be used, in an everyday
context, as a means either by which to augment the oral / aural and thereby making
possible a high-speed, asynchronous, data network which envelops groups of random
teenagers gathering outside late-night futility shops, and also through which to enable Subversive Codes of Crepuscular Intent to be devised, which can be
simultaneously exchanged alongside verbal small-talk, employed to
Distract Attention. Thus:
[Youth
A to her friend Youth B when within earshot of either or both Parents P+
and/or P-]: --- Yo, B, old chap, wasn't that Polynomial Calculus Home-Work
fun?!
simultaneously A to B: {[PARTY][2nite][?P+VP-][MONEY V booze?][evasion@7 V [maybe
8]}
[B
-> A]: --- Totally, you know?, top-hole! I can hardly wait for the Prof
to start on the integration of functions which include the Imaginaries as well
as the Reals!
simultaneously: {A[G'WAN :: SURPRISED EXCITEMENT][yo
thinkin][...]
B[likelyIF][?DOLLAR & ?TIME][->][certainty(Jonno,
(smoke AOR ?]
A[YAY][MONEY+][¬][((P+ V P-)∩ bed) :: ([likelihood(DOLLAR++) >= 0.93)]
B to (P+
AOR P-): --- Pn, looks as though we've drawn the short
straw again.[yourturn]
Pn to B: --- Why, what's happened, Gollum? You
okay?
A to B: --- Yeah, Smeagol, you going to be able to make
it?[OK][yourturn][now!]
A seemingly to B: --- I'm, I'm not sure. Don't have a lot of money, hardly enough for the
fare.[keepquiet]
Pn to A: --- Fare to where, Gollum? I might be able to
help: what's the occasion anyway? [YAYresult!]
A to Pn: --- To (plausibly distant location). Sauron here has only gone
and left it too late to even tell me about the First Round of the Differential
Calculathon.[B :: bastard][okay][here][goes]
Pn to A: --- Don't worry, would £50 cover it?? It'd be a shame
to miss the Calculathon.
A to B: --- Fifty, do you think we could both get there and back with
fifty?[SAY(NO)]
B to all: --- I don't know . . .
Pn to (A AND B) Here's a hundred! Now off you run or you'll be late.
B to A [TXTING][Jonno][YAY]
B
& A to Pn: --- Thanks. That's so helpful. See you
quite a bit later, I expect.
A to Pn: --- If not in the morning, see ya. [IDIOT!]
B, responsively: --- [YEP]
(Exuent A, B, stage left...)
Pn to self: --- [Like I don't know. Dumbasses.]
